Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve

Finances are one of the leading causes of arguments among couples, trumping children and chores!

What is it about money that causes so much strife?

Whether it is savings (too much or too little), unexpected expenses, disagreements on needs versus wants, most problems can be traced back to a lack of communication.

People think others “should” respect their needs and desires, that they “could” be more understanding, and if they “would” just agree with you, misunderstandings could be avoided. In other words, we all want things our own way.

We often project our beliefs on our spouses without giving them the opportunity to present their opinion or view on a subject.

Let me use myself as an example. When I married my husband, my daughter was attending a private catholic school. (If you read my past blogs you are aware I was deeply in debt after my first marriage ended). My husband, Kelly, suggested we send my daughter to public school and put the tuition money toward helping me pay down my debt. We had a few arguments about this before we actually sat down and discussed why this was so important to me. I went to catholic schools my whole life….I attended an all-girls catholic high school and felt my education really helped to shape my character, my ethics, and helped to empower me as a woman. In other words, a private education was an important part of my core values. I wanted my daughter to have an experience that would be equally beneficial and I was willing to pay for that. I had considered the cost of education as part of my plan to pay off my debt, which I successfully accomplished ahead of schedule. My husband attended public schools and received an equally good education. Once he realized why attending a private school was so important to me and he accepted it, there were no more arguments. He may not have understood or agreed with me 100%, but he was willing to accept it.

It is unfair to expect your spouse to agree with all of your needs or want because you think he or she “should.”

A marriage is a partnership that requires compromise and sometimes sacrifice. Good open communication can help you to understand each other and decrease the arguments around all things financial.

The next time you are having a disagreement about a financial matter and you think, “I wish he or she would, could, or should do something” just because it is what you want, take the opportunity to pause and ask yourself why you feel this way? Consider discussing the pros and cons of whatever it is you are arguing about and take the time to understand your partner’s viewpoint first.

Note: Due to industry regulations on communication, we are unable to allow for public comments on this blog. Please feel free to email me your questions and/or comments to kathy@fishandassociates.com. Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through NFP Securities, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. NFP Securities, Inc. is not affiliated with Fish & Associates.

Slow and Steady - Getting Started IRA 101

We discussed company sponsored retirement plans in my last blog.  If you are self employed or work for a company that doesn’t provide a retirement plan, don’t worry, you can set up an Individual Retirement Account (IRA) and receive some of the same tax savings.

If you are under the age of 50, and your employer doesn’t offer a plan, you can save up to $5,000 per year and deduct that payment from your income taxes.  What does that mean to you? If you are in the 25% tax bracket that could result in a tax savings of $1,250.  Your tax bill will be reduced by that amount.  If you are over 50 you can deduct up to $6,000 annually.  The deductibility of the contribution changes if your employer offers a plan. If your employer offers a plan,  please go back and read my last blog. Then go to your HR department and sign up as soon as you are eligible.

Another type of  IRA is called the Roth IRA.  Roth IRAs have been around since 1998. The contribution limits are the same, but a Roth does not allow a tax deduction.  Any growth on a regular or a Roth IRA is tax deferred.  Translation – no income taxes are due until you take money out.

The main difference between a Roth and a Regular IRA is at the time you are ready to take the money out after age 59 ½. The Roth proceeds are tax free (no taxes due) whereas the regular IRA distributions will be taxed in retirement. Roth’s can be both simple and extremely tax effective when compared with the many retirement accounts available.

Here are two great websites for details:  http://newirarules.com/
http://www.moneychimp.com/articles/rothira/rothintro.htm


Note: Due to industry regulations on communication, we are unable to allow for public comments on this blog. Please feel free to email me your questions and/or comments to kathy@fishandassociates.com. Thank you.

Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through NFP Securities, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC. NFP Securities, Inc. is not affiliated with Fish & Associates.

The Assessment Process – You and Your Money Part 1

The practice of yoga is integral to my life, physically the health benefits are well documented; it gives me a stronger, more flexible body as well as a way to relieve the stress of our daily lives which is good for the heart and mind.

It is also a way to connect with our inner self. The self that asks basic questions: what is my purpose, what am I connected to from the wider world and how do I achieve happiness?

Yoga is not competitive. It is about being present in your own life and living it the best way you can. It is NOT about who can stand the longest in tree pose, or bring their head closest to the mat.

Each class is like an assessment of where you are at that moment and the intention you set for your future.

To take care of yourself financially the process is not very different. It is about your life, where you are at the present moment and your goals for the future. Just as in yoga class where we assess our own strengths and vulnerabilities - in the same way you have to be honest with yourself about your financial situation.

Here are some things to think a about:

• What does money mean to you? How do you see the role of money in your life? Is it a tool or something more?
• How do you feel about money, are you a spender or a saver? Do you want a lot of money, just enough or somewhere in the middle?
• What are your values, what is important to you?
• Where do you see yourself in 10, 15, 20 years?
• How do you want to be remembered? To your children, your friends, your community?


These questions are more ephemeral. Not the typical way we speak about money, but they are key to how you will proceed with your financial plan.
Once you know where you are and how you feel, you can begin to decide where you want to go, decide what your goal is. Those decisions become the basis of your financial plan.

More concrete questions you may want to ask yourself are:

• What is my current financial situation?
• Am I just starting out in my career or am I somewhere in mid-career?
• Am I single? Have a partner? Children?
• Do I have savings? How much?
• What are my options to create more income if I want or need to?
• What is it I need to learn about my finances to move forward?
• What are my expenditures? What is fixed and what is discretionary
• How do I spend my money?

This is a big job. You need to do what we do in yoga class, set an intention for yourself and move toward it. So your first step is to set up an appointment with yourself or with your partner to answer these questions. Dig deep, breathe in, breathe out and focus. This is the hard work, but like all hard work it is incredibly rewarding. And just like in yoga, it is NOT a competition! Do not compare yourself to your neighbors, or your siblings or even your partner. Work from your own strengths. From your own heart’s desire. This is your life, make the most of it!

CONGRATULATIONS! This is the process of starting to take care of yourself.

Note: I really want to hear from you, but because I am a financial planner and what we say and the things we write are highly regulated, I may not be able to fully reply to your comments or questions. I have to submit my responses through my compliance department, so I plan to respond to broad inquiries and comments rather than personal questions. Email me at kathy@fishandassociates.com